What We Had

Just as it was picking up steam, it petered out.

Yes, you’d be assuming right if your assumption was he decided to break things off with me. Because just like my previous post states, I’m not ready to settle down and do something serious right now. I guess he’s ready for all those things, plus kids, and didn’t want us to get too far because he wants those things right now.

Part of me, the extremely commitment phobic part, feels relieved. Another part of me is a little hurt that he wasn’t even willing to give it a longer go and see. I’d like all those things soon, but I’m just figuring my shit out so I’m not sure how soon. I wasn’t exactly expecting a stop sign though after having spent the entire day and night at his house. A huge thing for me, mind you.

I shed a tear or two out of frustration though. It’s hard investing in someone who then decides to call it quits on you. I do respect him for not stringing me along. We had fun together, he was quick to admit that, and I agree. I enjoyed him, but that’s it. Gotta be a big girl about this enjoyable, but otherwise short interlude we had together.

But under no circumstances will I be taking him up on his offer to be friends in a few months time. Β Sorry, bro, but I don’t collect friends with the ease that you supposedly do and I’m not interested in adding you to the select few I have. Pretty black and white of me (read: I’m a huge bitch) , but kiss my fat ass you claim to love so much. πŸ™‚

So back to the drawing board, eh?

In other news, I did the professional nudes that I had on my list. Maybe you’ll see a pic up here in a few weeks. I need to modify that list and turn it into my 30 before 30. Working on it.

27 comments

      1. Kayla is spot on – his loss.
        Being older does not excuse stupidity. Also, it does not mean he knows what he wants. Most older guys have no more idea than any other age as to what they want; they just disguise it better.
        ‘Will you be my friend?’. Ha.

  1. Can’t wait to see your list. You wrapped this post up with that pretty little teaser, it seems you are processing it well. You are trusting your instincts too, good for you.

    I especially enjoyed your attitude about being friends, fuck yes, you are a precious commodity! Glad I get to share in your thoughts and growth and journey. Hugs!!

    1. Seriously I almost blurted out that there was no way in hell when he said that, but I think my surprise at the situation prevented me. No, I don’t want to be your damn friend, are you effing crazy?? Lol

      I need to stop being lazy and type the list up.

      1. Don’t wait too long to make your list, the more time to complete your goals the better, I would think. I’m just really curious! Since I’m 36 I would have to do 40 before 40 πŸ™‚

      2. Make a list of 50 and then narrow it down. I thought of 100, I know you can do 30 good ones. Although, honestly before 30 I wouldn’t have fantasized about some of the things I fantasize about now. Hmmm, either way I know you can do it.

  2. You’ll meet someone one day and it’ll be a good fit. πŸ™‚ Guess I’d have to do a 50 before 50 list…lol. I’m off to a slow start…I only have 4 things on my wish list so far. A couple of them are to learn bellydancing and see some place somewhere with really blue water.

  3. I’m sorry to hear that your relationship fell apart, he really did seem like a nice guy who treated you well, from the sounds of things. And I admire your ‘gotta move on’ attitude.

    Nude pics? You *know* I hope you share of them with us! And I’m interested in hearing more about this 30 things list!

  4. He was taking too fast with you. Sorry that had to happen to you. Wish you the best in anything you do in life. I’m looking forward to see your new nude pics? If that’s me I’ll appreciate, that and can’t wait to speak to you again

  5. Such a shame this came to an end, I know how much you liked being with him. BTW, i wouldnt say you were commitment-phobic here, it’s been a few dates and he wants to cool it because you dont want children with him? Erm, it’s a bit soon to be talking about settling down and white picket fences Mister.

    1. Guess he just thought I wouldn’t be up to it any time soon, which isn’t an incorrect statement. Given time, I could’ve gotten there, but he apparently wasn’t willing to invest. Nothing I can do about that.

      1. “Given time” – exactly. Seems to me he was wanting something sooner than most people would be able to offer.
        Like you say, nothng you can do about that – it’s down to him and it’s his loss xx

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