Is this thing on?

November means NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month is underway.

I’ve been low on creativity. It’s almost like being impotent this wanting to “get it up” but not being able to find the desire to write. So, my usual excitement surrounding NaNo is absent and it’s unsettling.

My story feels forced and boring. I’m behind and I’m not sure I possess the drive to get caught up. Even my need to write shorts is quiet. I am definitely not myself.

Most of this comes from my mind being preoccupied with worry. I alluded to a mistake in trusting someone a few posts ago and I’ve been battling some stress (brought on by worrying) induced symptoms. I’m not being intentionally evasive by not saying what’s bothering me, but it stems from being embarrassed at the mistake itself and worrying about the consequences (I’m hoping for good results by the end of the week. In more ways than one). If you know me, you know I worry to the extreme. It can’t be simple. No, I fret about worst case scenarios.

I freak myself out to the point that I’m pretty sure I have an ulcer right now.

Anyway, I’m on the verge of abandoning NaNo. If something doesn’t change, if I don’t find some much needed motivation, I’m afraid this will be the first year I don’t finish.

So here’s to finding the desire to write and the realization (and truth) that things will turn out okay. My poor stomach can’t take much more.

Nothing sexy to see here, folks. Move along.

13 comments

  1. You can write any time you feel like it. There’s no rule that says it HAS to be this month. I agree with TRG.

    And, as a fellow worrier, I feel your pain (and am now a little concerned you may have an ulcer). The thing that usually helps me is talking to someone who sees through my worry and can cut through the BS for me and talk me down from the ulcer-induced ledge. If you don’t have that person, let me know – I’m great at talking sense into people. 🙂

    ((hugs))

    1. I think I may have an idea that’ll get me going. We’ll see though. The weekend will make or break me on this endeavor.

      A friend of mine listened to mr vent last week and I felt so much better. Keeping things bottled is killing me, but sometimes I struggle to ask for help.

  2. Write when you feel the words, don’t force it. As Stephen King said – the greatest writers are the greatest readers. Maybe if you don’t find your muse now, you can catch up on reading and she will find you and provide you with some inspiration.

  3. Easier said than done, but don’t stress yourself out too much. If Nano doesn’t work out it’s ok. There will be other times to write when you feel like writing and other pieces you feel called to write.

  4. Try to find a writing or anything that gives you inspiration. Think about it and analyze it, then make it your own. Try to take things slow and never rush into to things. Try to refresh your mind and go from there.

  5. Writing’s no fun unless you’re enjoying yourself. My advice – don’t worry about NaNoWriMo. Indulge yourself with doing something nice (even daydreaming hehehe!) and something will pop into your head that had to be written down and it will be sparklingly brilliant. When I get writers block (or boredom for want of a better word) I just wait it out. There’s always a good idea somewhere to be found, if you just wait long enough 🙂

I like it when you talk to me

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