Pause

I have moments where I think about stopping. Work, writing, blogging. Stopping it all and taking an extended break. 

Why do people come to this space?

What’s the purpose of this blog anymore? 

Am I an effective communicator? 

Am I finding fulfillment or anxiety at work?

Is writing the emotional outlet it used to be for me? 

Why don’t I write more if it is? 

The fact that I’m not sure of my answers says a lot. I think I’m just frustrated with myself. 

31 comments

  1. We all evolve in what we seek, sometimes from one day to the next. The most important thing is that you do what feels right for you. All the rest doesn’t really count, does it?
    So if you feel like writing, then do it, if you don’t feel like writing, then don’t. Why wonder any more about it than that? (and this is all said with a gentle smile on my face, as I know that it’s not as easy as that 😉 )

      1. I know it’s hard, but write for yourself before writing for others. As for reading.. I know a few people following you who would be delighted to read whatever it is you post!

      2. We all need the feedback to some extent. Otherwise you are right, we probably wouldn’t be blogging.
        But still… you are the only one who can answer these questions 🙂

  2. i have been looking for posts from you for days. why? I love how honest you are in your nonfiction, and how steamy your erotica and poetry are. but i do think we all wonder why we do this…((hug))

      1. I guess the question is: is it making a difference in *your* life? Start with that!
        As for making a difference in someone else’s life… yes, it does. I enjoy reading your texts, I may not be as diligent as I have been, but when I read your texts, I can see how good a writer you are, and it makes me want to become better myself.

  3. First off like stated above write for yourself! Fiction, non-fiction, erotica, what ever you feel like what ever you enjoy.
    Secondly I look forward to reading your writing, erotica or not as I like it all.

  4. I will echo what others have said – write for you first and foremost. Does it still bring your pleasure or release? Then keep going. I think we can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to keep up a pace / type of writing etc and really, it’s all up to you.
    For what it’s worth I like reading your stuff 🙂

    1. I cycle around to this quarterly and I still find writing only has personal satisfaction when it’s a journal entry I’m never going to share. I’d quit blogging completely in that case because there’s no point to storytelling if I’m not sharing. Needing feedback makes it hard. Thank you for reading

  5. I think many people out here on the blog might know how you feel – we all want to express… something. Often we don’t know it and for that unexplainable part of us, we want to connect with people – and for those of us like you and me who write fiction on our blogs amidst all the other things we post, the need for input, for feedback is very strong.
    Honestly, in my case it keeps me coming back more than I realised until about two years ago. I’ve been blogging on and off since 2003 – very regularly at the start when it was fresh and fun, then in bursts and then for over a year and some nothing at all. But then there was a craving in me to get it out there again, I had to say something, even if it was me doing my own version of John Olivers “screamintothevoid.com” where I was just putting down what sprang forth in my mind and throwing it out into the ether. Just because I needed to get it out of my mind. 🙂
    We read, we write, we agonise, we process, we fluctuate, we communicate and we just create. It’s what many of us out here do and though there are many days where I question myself and everything around me and wonder at the purpose and futility – in the end it doesn’t matter because no one has any answers that are indisputable and life is too short by far, so I embrace what I am, crazy, teetering, quirky and all and just chose to run with it. The end, however, whenever, whatever be damned – that bridge will be crossed or demon slain (whichever you prefer) when that time comes. In the meantime, there is what is before me and I can work with that.

  6. If you figure out the answers to any of those questions, please let me know. 😉
    As for why do I read your blog? The same reason I read most other blogs and the same reason I write one – as a vent for my sexuality.

  7. I have always thought you put too much pressure on yourself…but first and foremost you have to write because you want to. Those of us who adore you (and clearly, there are many of us) will read what you write, probably regardless of the topic. But the posts that resonate the most with us (from what I see, and maybe this is just me) are when you lay yourself bare – not just in body, but in mind, too.

    You have to do what feels most right for you. Sometimes a break is what’s needed, sometimes it’s a change of focus, and sometimes it’s the need to ease up on yourself and let yourself be who you are – not what you believe we think you are. But that’s just my two cents.

    Mwa! You are loved here in this space, that I’m sure of.

    1. This feeling is almost cyclical. I feel like a broken record because I get this way almost quarterly and have to snap myself out of it. I’m like the whiny kid in class but I can’t seem to stop it from happening. Taking a step back from publishing decreased the intensity of it, but the only cure is venting it so I can move on.

      1. I think that’s the only cure for most of us. Vent it out. Remember, this is your space, first and foremost. The rest of us are just voyeurs. If venting is what gets you back on an even keel, then do it, because it’s what you need. 🙂

    2. I agree wholeheartedly with everything Kayla has said. We’ve been around for years together and you are a big part of this community. If you disappeared I’d be a little devastated. For real.

      Your honesty, your openness, your adventurous spirit, your talent and creativity. It’s all here for us to see and it’s a beautiful thing.

      FWIW, I’m swirling around, too. Four years is a long time to languish as a blogger, so I feel your pain. I don’t have a book, I’m not writing fiction, I can barely handle the one meme I run, I’m awful at commenting, I haven’t branched out in any way other than to bitch and moan about men and post pics of my tits. I’m still the same as I ever was. BORING.

      But quitting doesn’t feel right either so I’m waiting for the light bulb the to come on and show me what’s next. It’s partly why I’m headed to Eroticon this year. I need a reason to do this.

      All the loves for you, Cara. xx Hy

      1. WordPress likes to randomly cancel your subscription so I don’t get your posts. It’s frustrating. I was just thinking I hadn’t seen anything from you in a while. I was busy last week but maybe my email ate it. I’ll have to reup again.

  8. Then trust your heart, if you can’t always rely on your gut to guide you.

    People are enjoying what you write, looking forward to your posts and getting something out of your words.

    Sometimes commenting it hard to do, when we readers can only agree or our reply is longer than the original post.

I like it when you talk to me

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