thinking

Covered

The nurse’s look when she pushed up her sleeves would’ve made Tracy bolt if she could have moved.

“What’s your name?”

Tracy eyed her badge. ‘Tammy’ it said, a cheerful sunflower beside her picture.

“Tracy DeCarlo.”

Her lips felt twice as big and talking sent a pain shooting through her jaw.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

Tracy glanced over at Paul; his stare sent her heart into a stuttered rhythm. Her rapid breaths made her side protest.

“I fell,” she mumbled.

Tammy held her gaze, her eyes asking questions. Tracy looked at Paul and then the floor.

“I fell.”

Like you want me 

I wanted to plug a delicious piece of fic I just finished. A Bitter Taste was written so well I looked at my work and wanted to weep. I’m a novice in comparison. 

I’m a sucker for well written stories, but well written erotica with a solid plot is so much better. She wrote scenes that made me squirm on so many occasions as I read. It was almost delicate how she showed the emotions. I’m super critical of erotica because I write it so to have my heart race, my thighs clench, and my brain spasm from the words? Oh. Yes. 

It made me think of how I like sex. Can I want it to be dirty and delicate at the same time? You can spare me the sweet words. Just say you want to fuck me and then do it. After I’ve given clear signals that I’m open of course. I’m easy to read usually and tend to be plain with my interest. My yes always means yes especially after I’ve reduced me to goo with a good spanking. That may not sound delicate, but man does it feel that way to me. 

Tie me down, or don’t, and then fuck me so well I can’t help but scream. Make me want to write about each sensation. Make me want to relive it when you leave. Make me feel empty and sore after you’re gone. 

Make me. 

Do it with careful finesse until I can’t be elegant or controlled in my response. 

It’s hard to find that and I’ve gotten to where I’d rather read/write about it because I’m not having it. I guess I want someone to figure me out and then treat me like they get it, but no one has patience to undo me. 

So I’ll have to write with the finesse I want executed on me. To make someone else squirm, brain spasm, pulse race. I want to leave some else a squirming mess. Do onto others as you’d want them to do until you. 

Self-Care

I’ve been unsettled lately. Disconnected and struggling with feeling competent in my everyday life. It honestly feels like I’m coming undone and I hate that feeling. 

Work has been sucking the life out of me, but I can’t blame everything on work. 

My thoughts have been circling around self-care and what that means in my life. I’m honestly not sure what form of self care I need in order to reconnect. 


I’ll turn the corner I think. I have to. 

In times of uncertainty 

Funny times we live in, huh? 

You wonder if it’s a precursor to something or the beginning of a change (good or bad) that’s been long in coming. 

I’m struggling a bit with my weight, writing, starting a new job. I’m unsure if I like where I am or if I need to start something different soon. 

As it is, I have to keep moving I guess.

Hopefully I remain safe in this current political storm. 

Hopefully I find satisfaction in my career again 

Hopefully, I start treating my body better 

Hopefully I make a decision on what I want to be or do. 

Hopefully my desire to write returns


A new tattoo? A new piercing? A new me? Who knows. 

The Great Outdoors

He’d talked her into camping. True camping with nature, tents, sleeping bags, and pissing in bushes. She stepped out of his pickup, clenching her book bag and wondering what she was thinking as she stared at the trees surrounding her. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” His deep voice hummed with pleasure as he stretched to the sky. 

She gripped the straps of her bag and forced a smile. “It’s definitely… Green.” 

His blue eyes sparkled as he glanced at her before reaching into the back seat to grab their gear. She glance around the woods and tried to see the beauty. It was definitely refreshing being out here. She took a deep breath and brought the pine needle scent into her lungs. 

Not that she was prissy or girly, but she didn’t know the first thing about camping. Her parents weren’t exactly the venture into the woods type when it came to vacation. More like a venture by the beach and slather on sunblock types. 

As she took another breath, she relaxed a little and let herself warm a little to the coming experience. It wasn’t like he’d conned her into this adventure, as he called it. She’d listened to him describe the experience over dinner, making it seem almost sensual to be out and one with nature. The way his eyes seemed to grow hooded and bright with passion had caused such a stir she shifted in her chair to curb the ache in her cunt. It had captured her, aroused her, lured her in. She’d agreed with an almost breathless longing. 

“Ready?”

He drew her out of daydreaming back into the coolness of the forest beckoning her. Her nerves returned, but she nodded and made her way to where he stood just on the edge of the tree line. 

They were swallowed up, plunging deep into the flora. He led her along a narrow dirt path, passing through trees larger than her that seemed to soar to the sky. She kept her eyes on his legs, listening to birds ruffle the leaves and small animals dashing along the forest floor. 

She was hearty or so she believed. Running three miles everyday should’ve made this an easy hike, but after a few hours fatigue started to kick in. The backpack started to weigh a ton as her legs started to rebel. 

Just when she was considering begging to quit, they entered a clearing and he stopped in the middle. 

“How about a break?” 

“How about you put me out of my misery?” She dropped her bag with a sigh and sat down with little regard to what was on the ground. 

His laughter rang in the air around him and she suppressed her grumble. He pulled out a drape and some power bars. After passing her one, he spread out the drape ahs invited her to sit. Her legs wobbled a bit but she swore she would not crawl to him. 

He plopped down beside her, looking radiant while she knew she looked sweaty and worn out. They munched their bars in companionable silence and she tried to find some energy for the remainder of hike. 

She finished her bar and lay back to stare up at the sky. 

The trees created a ring around the glade they rested in. Huge, puffy clouds floated across the blue. As she relaxed, she let her mind create goofy images out of the clouds. She sighed as the tension and fatigue worked to make her drowsy. 

“Beautiful, right?” 

His voice was so soft it seemed to flow with the relaxing vibe surrounding her. A smile unfurled over her face, a feeling of peace wrapping around her. 

She felt his breath on her cheek, mingling with the slight breeze, and his hand on her thigh. Her drowsiness vanished under the heat of his hand venturing along the exposed skin of her leg, but she kept her eyes trained on the sky. 

“I’ve been dying to get you out here with me to see how much this being out in nature can move you.” 

His fingers wandered under her shorts, brushing the edge of her panties. She bite her lip, drawing a deep breath into her lungs and holding it. 

“It makes me think of you, being out here.” 

Her breath whooshed out as his lips brushed her neck. 

“This place reminds you of me?” She couldn’t help chuckling. “I can’t say I understand how.” 

His hand left her shorts to settle on her breast. Even through the material of her bra and tshirt, her nipple tightened and rose to meet his palm. 

“Wild and full of passion.”

“I would’ve used those words to describe you.” She arched into his hand when he squeezed. “I’m definitely more domesticated.”

“Hardly.” His teeth skimmed along her neck drawing a moan from her. “I see it in your eyes and the way you move. You pretend to be tame, but that’s just because you’re not in your natural habitat.”

He released her and flicked open the snap on her short. The air seemed to flow down the front awaking her body that much more. It was a few beats until his hand followed, fingertips resting against the gusset of her panties. 

“I think once you’re out here long enough, the trees sink into your veins and you become something amazing.” 

She wanted to protest, wanted to remind him that her legs were noodles and she was beyond exhausted, but his fingers pressed against her and she lost her thought. 

“Wild.” 

A circle around her clit. 

“Passionate.”

A press that made her gasp. 

“Beautiful.” He whispered the word, bringing her to the brink as a flock of birds burst into the sky overhead. 

He let his hand rest, cupping her through the fabric. She was hot, her heart beating a erratic cadence in her chest. She felt wild under his hands. So alive she could fly like the birds. 

“Can you go on?”

Could she let her heart be transformed? 

“Yes.” 

Caught 10

Chapter 10

“Lay on your stomach and don’t move,” he told her in a firm voice.

Hunter pressed her into the soft mattress and she sank like lead into the fluff and smell of him that floated around her. She wanted to reach out to him, but was afraid he’d reject her again. Gazelle’s heart felt as raw as her body, and even after the intense release she worried that it would split in two if he walked away.

She buried her face in the pillow, her mind floating. Feelings of disconnect, the same one she’d started feeling earlier, returned with a vengeance. It was easy to rest there; back exposed to the room, and let herself drift along. His hands smoothed cool salve on her butt that made her sigh in pleasure. He kneaded at her ass and thighs, working the ointment into her skin and sending tingles up her spine. Even with her fatigue, sparks of arousal caught, fanned by pain and Hunter’s tender ministrations.

“Gazelle,” Hunter whispered, reverence coloring his voice. “You don’t know how beautiful you look lying there, so trusting, with her ass bright red from my hand. I’d love seeing you like this.”

His words gave her as much pleasure as his hands. She was too tired to do more than murmur happily.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” He spoke softly, but Gazelle heard the command.

Sighing, Gazelle turned her head to look at him. He was gazing at his hands as the worked on her tender flesh. His face etched with lust, giving him a feral, hungry look. She debated not revealing what was on her heart, but the high made her loose. She wanted desperately to connect with this man who’d taken her to new heights.

“I’m thinking about who I am.” She sighed as his fingers worked her low back. “About how I never thought I’d become a person who enjoyed things like this.”

His blue eyes lifted to snag hers. “This isn’t wrong, Gazelle. It’s okay to express and explore the needs you have. It doesn’t make you bad.”

“It’s not that. It’s becoming my mother, of letting my baser needs rule me and turn me into a woman who pursues it at all cost.” She closed her eyes. “Of sacrificing everything for something that’s fleeting.”

The hands at her back disappeared and Gazelle moaned at the absence of his touch. Other than the swish of fabric, she heard no sound and let herself hover in the dazed world she found herself in. When the bed dipped, she opened her eyes to see Hunter lying naked beside her. Emotions flickered across his face before they disappeared behind the mask that he erected.

“You aren’t your mother, Gazelle. This…” He waved his hand around almost helplessly, “just proves that. You’re passionate, loving, giving, and incredibly receptive. Embracing that doesn’t mean you’re sacrificing anything, only finding yourself.” The gentleness of his tone made the truth of his words more real to her.

He placed her hand against his heart, holding it in place with his own. Feeling the steady beat calmed her. She leaned back to look at him and another realization hit her as soon as their eyes locked. Gazelle loved him. Her breath hissed out as she let that truth sink in.

“Are you all right?” Creases appeared between his brows as he stared at her.

Unsure of what to say, Gazelle nodded and snuggled up to him. She relaxed against him, but her mind and heart raced. How had she let her feelings slip down that path so easily? Trusting him, allowing him to take control, had left her open to love. Gazelle blinked back tears, knowing that she’d always loved him. Fear is what held her back from telling him, showing him, before. She knew she could stay with him, like this, for the rest of her life, but he hadn’t offered her that. Having her physical lust satisfied wouldn’t sustain her; only his love could do that. An ache, one that she knew started the moment she’d seen the invitation to this party, one that had always been there, sharpened as she realized that this couldn’t be forever. She suppressed the sob that bubbled up, and buried her face in his chest.

His hand skimmed down her back, obviously sensing her distress and trying to comfort her. “What are you thinking about, Gazelle.” He cupped her bottom possessively before letting his hand move to thigh. “You seem relaxed, but I can feel the tension radiating off of you.”

She couldn’t help smiling. The man had the ability to read her whether she wanted him to or not. She seemed to only be transparent with him. Her smile died as she prayed he wouldn’t sense her feelings for him. It would kill her to know he wouldn’t reciprocate. Instead she attempted to distract him. She trailed her fingers down his back in much the same way he’d done to her moments before. His muscles bunched beneath her touch, his cock growing hard against her leg. She loved that he reacted so easily to her, loved that she wasn’t alone in her need.

When her hand crept lower to run between the cheeks of his firm behind to tickle the crinkled opening, he stopped her with a tight hand around her wrist. “What are you doing?”

“I’m playing.” He didn’t pull her hand away so she started teasing around his hidden rosebud. She let her tongue slide along the plane of his collarbone. “Can’t I play with you, Master?”

Have a look

I’ve been feeling weird about sharing my body lately. After the last failed attempt at a relationship, I’ve felt vulnerable and uncomfortable. I hadn’t felt the urge to share other than a few old photos lately. 

The desire struck me suddenly today. The need to offer a peek. It’s odd how it crops up and I can’t help myself. 

I’ve never really looked too closely at why I want to share myself, especially with strangers. I’ll think on the why, but I guess I’ll share a photo for the new year. 

  

 My breasts have felt especially full, heavy, and tender. A lot like how the rest of me feels. 

No resolutions this year. More of a desire for things to be different. Maybe that means sharing myself less on a physical and mental level. Maybe that means freeing myself from other things. 

Just a quick look into my mind.